I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL!?! HELPP..?

Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry for all you've gone through. 1st up though, GET THAT PROJECT DONE, so you can see your father and not anger your mother. Now, maybe you should go talk to your counselor at school. They've got psychologists in the area that can come talk to you and help you. My father was my abuser, it was awful as well. I often say that if I didn't have to put up with him, I'd be a different person and I probably wouldn't like the person I would have been, just to try to make myself feel better. Abuse is extremely damaging. This might be bad advice, but this is what I did, and it worked for me. I had an incredibly low self-esteem, I was so shy that I couldn't/wouldn't look anybody in the eye, I wouldn't say anything because I didn't want to sound stupid and didn't think what I would have to say anyway would make any difference. I was 28 y/o when I figured out my plan. I gathered personality traits that I admired in other people, went to another town, somewhere that nobody would know me and I'd never see them again, and I wore those personality traits (mentally, I called it my armor) and started trying it out and talking to random people, It was very scary at first, but it was also liberating. It took a while for me to be able to use my new "armor" in my town and around the people I knew, but, slowly I began to feel life inside me and later, that shell of a person that I used to be, was a new person, vibrant, full of love and life. Don't get me wrong, that wounded little girl is still inside me, but she's pushed away by the person I've become. My friends would be shocked if they knew who I really was. I love who I am now, I'm proud of who I am now. I've achieved things that I never could have, or would have, before. Words and actions still hurt, but, I can brush it off now and not take it personally or let it get to me. I also finally suppressed all the rage inside of me as well. I've gone through quite a few psychologists, psychiatrists, etc, although I just couldn't find the right one. I can be happy now, I am happy now. I'm not saying what I did is right, I can only tell you that it's helped me get through it. As for dying your hair, if it makes you feel better about yourself, do it. Exercise will help you vent your anger and frustration, so that would be helpful. Know that you matter in this life and that you've impacted the life of everyone you come in contact with. Once you get out of the house, you're free of it. Have the attitude of, I WILL make something of myself, I WILL have a great and happy life, and I WILL treat others with only love and respect. Do positive affirmations daily, multiple times a day. Hugs, baby girl, you WILL and you CAN get through this. Tomorrow, set up a meeting with your counselor at school, she'll help you!