I don't know how i feel?! help?

hey kiky! my nickname is kiki and im 15 so thats about the only thing i have in common with you. im so sorry about the abuse and lost of friends. my best friend/ grandma past away about 7 months ago and about 5 people died in my family in the same month so..... i think you should "remake" yourself. you can cut off all your hair if you want and dye it your favorite color.write about everything that goes on in your day. make some more friends (not saying leave your old ones). if you feel the jokes they're making are immature its probably because it is. i feel the same way with my friends some time. if you feel like you should be reborn, try some religions if you dont already have one. im sorry i dont have a better answer and if what im saying is a little cheesy. im usually good with helping people with stuff similar, but im just really astonished right now